I feel so stupid

This is a very long story but please hear me out. I always get bullied and embarrassed by them in school in the past even i tried to befriend with them they're always mean and insult me they always do it infront of other Classmates to just embarrassed me.

But this year change well they're still mean and bully me but here's the thing their crushes showing interest in me like talking to me or trying to flirt with me ( there's actually 3 girls confess to me in this time of year, guess cause of new haircut and lose weight and better skin care i did ) and i got an idea to hit on this girls to get revenge by them, i mean what's the best revenge other than destroying their very hearts, but i did something so stupid i play a bad guy role like a bad student role like them so once i get their crushes said yes to me they will be more mad cause i was playing the bad guy role and getting the girl they like by a guy like me would really make them annoyed and destroy their hearts.

So for sake of getting my long lasting revenge i sacrifice my reputation and ruin it so once i get the girl they'll certainly be hurt, so i try to finally show interest in this girl and she actually taking the bait she's looking at me and now trying to get physical contact with me and also when i try to ignore her and show interest to other girls she get jealous and i seeing her looking at those girls with such a sharp eye and sometimes to me too, so now i was certain this have fallen for me.

I was supposed to confess to her in graduation (fake confession to be exact cause i don't really feel anything to her i just need her for the very moment to destroy those bastards heart) but something happened that unable me to do it, so i had to wait 2 months for class to resume and after waiting 2 months i see her again and she still into me actually she get more kinda obvious so i try to play it cool for 1 months and observe my bully for the mean time but something unexpected happens she begins to show little interested or mostly avoid me but she still looking at me in the eye like the way she do back then but still trying to avoid me, little i didn't know a new classmates of our actually trying to get her not one of my bullies he's nice, had something going on with his life so i guess that's why she let him have a chance on her to prove his love to her which gonna ruin my plan though about the role of being bad student and bad guy i still playing that role, and i guess that's the reason why she rejected me when i finally do the confession and it really annoyed me all that 1 year of planning just for me to fail, i really rejected those 3 girls who confess to me last school year and push people away and made everyone deslike me so once i get this girl they'll be hurt and mad for sure just for her to rejected me, though after rejection she still looking at me like saying that " i still like you" she ignored me but i always caught her still secretly looking at me and but it doesn't matter cause when my bullies find out whenever i walk through them they laughed at me and mock me, lil did they know she liked me first probably still like me!!!

Though i get depressed after my great failure so i try to hit on that one girl who confess to me before but she ended up already have a bf! And so she rejected me, she even say "you're late sorry" and jeezzzz damn it now i became more of a laughing stock i get rejected 2 Times!! And here's the plot twist the girl that i want to use to get my revenge end up rejecting the guy who trying to prove her love to her and now i realized that she just trying to make me jealous! But since she find out i confess to other girls plus my bad deeds for the sake of this revenge she lost her faith and ignore me though i still see her looking at me but shit! It's basically useless now getting her would take so much time to prove myself to someone i don't really have feelings for, it's annoying bcuz i really sacrifice the good life i could have for the revenge i want.

I could just continue being a good person back then and don't push those who want to befriend with me genuinely and didn't rejected the one girl who i actually like that confess to me but for the sake of this stupid revenge i just realized not even worth it!! Like jeez i mean i have been wronged and bully but idk i feel like i could just let all those slide and live my fking life.