Can’t get a house, really disheartened

My boyfriend and I have been trying to get a house for 1-2 years now. What we want is specific, so houses that fit our criteria are hard to come by, and we don’t have an unlimited budget. But it feels like no matter what we do we just can’t win. Just offered an insane amount over asking with an insane deposit that would go non-refundable after a pass/fail inspection (no ability to go back to seller and ask for $ based on inspection findings), no appraisal. The catch was we were requesting to assume her mortgage, which takes longer. But she told us Saturday night that if we offered X amount with those terms she would accept with no pushback, and by this afternoon the house was pending and we hadn’t heard a word from her. I’m so tired of spending so much time looking for houses online and in person, driving all over hell, paying for inspections and appraisals (two fell through after the results), finding a place we love and having my heart ripped out over it again and again. I went to bed Saturday thinking we had finally done it, and have just been crying all day now. Just looking for a pep talk. Thanks in advance.