Constant ringing in ear after gunshot

To start this happened 3 days ago. Im scheduling an appointment with a doctor today. I cant lay down relax and calm myself down at all without drinking alcohol. Im a complete idiot and this is 100% on me and my own self to blame but i fired guns times without hearing protection and this last time i did it i think i screwed myself up for life unfortunately. My right ear is muffled and i constantly hear ringing EVERY SINGLE time i try to relax myself. Its driving me insane. All i hear is EEEEE

I did this to myself with shooting without hearing protection and all of the m80s/fireworks i lit off in my life definitely damaged my hearing. Theres no one else to blame but myself this is just severely affecting my mental health and i cant live with this.

Going to sleep is a nightmare everynight. Im so scared and worried that i have to deal with this for life. The first things i see after googling about tinnitus is the suicide rates are very bad among people with tinnitus.

I am very upset right now. After hearing this i dealt with severe trauma and have mental issues as it is such as severe anxiety and depression and now having to deal with this is very hard.

If anyone can give me some hope that would be amazing but i also want you guys to keep it real with me and tell me if im screwed for life and i screwed my entire life up