How weight loss and my "glow up" dramatically changed my experience

Over the past year, I’ve experienced massive weight loss and a dramatic transformation in my appearance as part of my health journey. My body, confidence, style, and the way I present myself have all changed significantly. However, while my appearance has changed, my skills and performance at work remain consistent.

Despite this, I’ve noticed a distinct shift in how I’m treated, especially as the only female engineer on my team. Before my transformation, my contributions were appreciated, and my ideas were heard and respected. Now, I find that my thoughts are often met with contrarian responses, even when I’m obviously correct. I have to go out of my way to explain or prove myself, which is mentally exhausting, other engineers don't have to prove every statement they say in meetings.

This change in behavior feels tied to my physical transformation, which my male colleagues have commented on ("oh wow you lost weight"). Their treatment includes subtle actions like excluding me from conversations, assigning work among themselves without my input, blindsiding me in meetings, and failing to keep me in the loop about basic updates. I constantly have to chase out information from them, it feels like I am in the boys club, I never felt this way when I was bigger.

Another woman on the team (though not an engineer) has noticed the shift and has been supportive, which I appreciate. However, these ongoing dynamics have been challenging. With the current job market, switching jobs isn’t a simple option, and there’s no guarantee that another role wouldn’t bring similar issues. It’s disheartening to see such a change in behavior solely based on appearance, and I’m struggling to navigate this dynamic.

Is this my new reality as a "thin" woman who's more conventionally attractive in tech? When I was bigger, I didn't stand out and male engineers seemed more comfortable around me. Other male engineers who are not in my direct team look/stare at me a lot, which I can ignore the male attention, the issue is how the engineers in my direct team behave around me.